When I was little, I called it public hair.Posted: January 18, 2012
What ever happened to pubic hair?
I typed out that question because I thought maybe if I got it out of my head, a clear answer would appear before me. I guess, like blue eye shadow or frosted tips on men, it’s just not cool anymore to have pubes.
One time I googled “Why do we have pubes?” and through in-depth research I discovered that pubic hair on women capture the musky vagina smell in which cave men used to sniff out the woman they were going to drag behind a rock after knocking her out cold.
Like my mom used to always say- “So if Amanda shaved all of her pubes off, I guess you would too? Hmm?” Yeah, ma. Pretty much. Don’t want to be the only girl ever in the world to have pubic hair.
Also, I get terrible razor burn and I’ve tried everything under the sun to minimize the excruciating pain that I put myself through twice a week to have an in-style vagina. One time I got it waxed which was actually not too bad. I wanted to rip my eyes out, but it was smooth and I didn’t even have to think about my pubes for four whole weeks. But I am too poor to even consider making that a monthly routine. Hairless vag or electricity? I can just light some candles and wear extra layers of clothing, right? Whatever.
I have a birthday party to attend this weekend at a fancy yacht club. It is a James Bond themed party, so I have to wear a dress and bring a gun. It probably can’t be a real gun, but thats a challenge I am willing to accept. Plus, I won’t have any pubic hair so if anyone questions my weapon, I’ll just tell them that it’s cool, I have no pubes.
I’m not entirely sure where I meant to go with any of that, but I’m on my lunch break at work, and work always gets me thinking about pubic hair.